This is why we do what we do

It's been a long...LONG while since I've posted! Lord life surely gets in the way sometimes!  We moved, then got divorced, then I moved again....and again and yes....AGAIN!  WHEW!  Through it all I managed to hang onto Sierra and Rowdy - I let all my other horses and my goats go.  :( That was rough.  Through the last 2 years I've probably ridden less than a dozen times and I've seriously found myself wondering....WHY?  WHY do I invest my time and SOOOO much money.

That answer is simple. This is what we do.  My best friend in the world reminded me of this just last week.  Her daughter and her daughters horse were in a horrible wreck.  Freak accident - her daughter had to have surgery and looked like a boxer who'd lost several rounds and they initially thought her horse would eventually be ok but in the end, letting her go was the best thing for her.  Her injuries were just too much.

Sam said it the best - so I'm stealing it from her -

"This is what we do. It's in our blood, it always has been from the time we were little. If you don't have it you will never understand it. We can go some time without it. But we always, always find our way back to it. It will always be there.. You just wouldn't understand it, there are only a few words that can explain it. Those that have it, know it, know that it's like the air we breathe. We know there are risks. Every time we put a foot in the stirrup, we know. Ever since she was two weeks old, she has ridden. They are the air we breathe. We may wander away from it but we always wander back. This is who we are and we can't explain it but if you have it, you know what we mean. Tami Hoag explained it best in Dark Horse. I even have it tattooed. " On the back of a horse, I felt whole, complete, connected to that vital place in the center of me and the chaos within found balance!" "

I've wrecked.  I've lost my confidence. I used to be a pretty good rider.  Seeing what Jo has gone through, and knowing that when her Dr's ok it - she's gonna Cowgirl Up and get her ass right back on a horse, and listening to Sam's words - has made me realize - this IS what we do!  This IS who I am!  I have wasted FAR too much time on a cop out excuse and being "scared".  To hell with fear!  I used to live, sleep, breathe (I was going to say eat....but well...) horses and without them, I am not me!  A ride, even the SHORTEST one on the back of a horse is enough to improve my mood ten times over.  I have a good horse, she's green but she's probably the sanest, most forgiving, loving horse I've met (besides Buck - no one will ever be him).  

Last weekend I decided after looking at hundreds of pics on FB of other people having a blast at game shows this summer that *I* wanted to go to one!!  I borrowed one of Sam's horses, Sierra didn't have a current rabies vaccine (which is being done today so we can hit the ring Sunday!) - I'd never ridden this horse before.  I'd only seen him from the driveway - he looks like a moose, he's pretty huge, which anyone who knows me, knows I like "ponies" not giants!!  But I hopped on that horse and I fell in love.  Toad is a kind, well broke, forgiving old man.  Been there, done that ranch type horse and he is very much like Buck.  Get in the ring and LET'S GO! Leave the ring and he falls asleep.  I <3 him!

I have no pictures as I was WAY too nervous and worked up - I had Dean and Sam and Tate there to cheer me on - Sam was riding too and she's such a good coach and calming force for me.  I am truly blessed to have wonderful people in my life who fully support and encourage me to do the things I love.

Look for pictures next week - Sunday we'll be at it again!  And I can't wait!!  :)